So you’ve got a baby. Do you still think that its cute and the most precious thing on the face of this planet? Well, congratulations on having a child for forty-five minutes. Now it’s time to get down into the nitty-gritty.
You aren’t ready for this. “But I’ve read twelve parenting books, and I even-“. No. It’s not enough. You’ll be okay, though. Just, you know. Prepare some more. Here, this might help.
1. NO BUTTON-UP CLOTHES
Sure, babies look cute in button-ups, but actually dressing them will kill you.
2. Foul things will exit your baby.
Picture the grossest thing you’ve ever seen and smelled. That’s going to be your future. Every day for far, far too long.